Ideas

My thoughts continue striking new ideas. I'm not secure. I'm not....much.

So we start over again

Today we started our new quarter.The days stretch on as I walk through the halls,fast,as they tell me. Funny though that seems like a normal pace for me. I was happy to be back at school although it seems like I'd hate it. Sometimes it's kind of like my home, schoolsick, I get schoolsick. The routine just goes missing from my day and there I am. So again I'll start again and maybe this quarter I'll do good, just maybe. I used to be really good but it's just kind of gone downhill. Right down a crashing slope and sometimes it curves back up...sometimes it doesn't.

Here I am.

Here I am again, our school has the day off. My names Allyn Smisson. I'm a freshman and trust me highschool is living hell. I'm still breathing, I can feel it but nothing's right. My friends I was talking about earlier, they're pale, never eat, and are either ugly or as beautiful as can be. They don't have an inbetween. They're like zombies except they aren't. Every one at my school has a tan besides me and... those "friends". We barely know eachother. At least I have some one. I don't get why we even have the cliques. All they do is abuse the other cliques. Even the nerds try to throw terrible comments at the others, of course it never gets much farther than saying they're a test tube that exploded with some random chemicals in it.... So I think we get that I'm miserable. I'm like a chick freak out but I'm a guy and its not just a moment of freaking out its the whole life. I think my favorite bands Paramore or Bullet for my valentine. Oh, I have to go my mothers yelling at me. Oh and my dad's an addict in rehab. My brother got shot. And my town's never safe.

Trust

No one trusts me. Its like living where no one knows you. As you swap tables and sit by yourself. Even the attempt to communicate is brought down. Imagine. The friends I have are slow and eat like there shouldn't be a tommorrow. I mean, they don't eat at all as far as I'm concerned. I'm the only one with a lunch tray and the preps,goths, and nerds all find time to beat me across the face. I guess that's not entirely true the goths don't and I still am happy. Even if my needs and desires are far from filled. Oh and the only thing that sits on my lunch tray is the core of an apple I just ate. The only thing surrounding my apple core is it's own juice. For some reason my friends call it the blood of an unknown delicacy. How did I meet them? I don't know. One last thing before I leave, I'm not exactly...delightful...to...be around.